Monday, October 5, 2009

A Prayer of Having and Not Having

Baruch At Yah, Eloheinu Ruach Ha Olam
We had a lot and now have not so much, had little and now have even less.
Or We had enough and now enough isn’t enough
Or we never had anything.
Or We used to not care about whether we had things, which is a lot easier when you have things to not care about.
So now what to do? I suppose we pray.

Hopes have been dashed, plans have been changed. We never really could plan but we thought we could and now we know we can’t and it breaks our hearts.
So now what to do? I guess we pray.

We followed the rules and lost anyway. We didn’t share what we had when we had it, or we shared but shared too little
Now it’s lost jobs, dull jobs, low paid jobs, any jobs, middle-aged and can’t get hired, retired and have to go back to work, young and can’t get that first gig.
I assume we pray

Pray for what? A winning Lotto ticket? Sleeping pills? Closed eyes and fingers in our ears, singing la la la la la, don't want to see, don't want to
So pray:
Ineffable and Eternal One-ness, whether you can help or no, I’m praying for it anyway. Help it to get better, help us make it better, help us fight back, help us all.
Wait, no, I’m not praying for the greedy and the cruel. Let them get their own prayer. This is ours.

So okay, I prayed. Now what to do? I’m hungry.
Bite into a ripe fig.
Into the tight black-green skin, the soft pink sweetness and the white seeds, the beginnings of life.
Well, maybe not this particular fig, thwarted. A mere metaphor.
And pray again.

God, Yah, Ruach, Ein Sof,, ineffable eternal connecting whatever:
Shanah Tovah.
And thank you for this luscious ripe black-green fig.