Look

Something is said to you and
Your first reaction is anger,
So stop.
Breathe.
Look.

Look for the truth.
Your anger might be fear,
Your anger might be hurt.
The truth is, it probably isn't about you.

And even if it is
Then

Look for opportunities for compassion:
Compassion for the source of your anger,
Compassion for yourself,
And if you look, you will find it.

Two seconds have passed.
The anger is gone.

Look
And perhaps you will see their hurt and pain,
And perhaps you will wonder,
How can I help?

Or at least

How can I not hurt them more?

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Thank you!

Trisha

Gifts

© Trisha Arlin

Blessed One-ness,

I give thanks for the gifts that are mine to give. 

One day,

I walked into a subway car and sat down

on a bench-seat that had just enough room for me. 

Now, I am a wide person,

I take up a bit more space

Than someone who is not a wide person,

And sometimes

I push against someone,

inadvertently,

with my wide self. 

And this time,

apparently I had.

Because the man sitting next to me

made an angry noise and said,

"Well, go ahead and knock into people,
obviously you don't care."

Which was weird,

So I watched my reaction.

I heard myself thinking,

screw you buddy,it was an accident,
get over yourself,
what do you want from me,
are you making fun of me because I'm fat
is everybody staring at me because I'm fat,i hate you.

And I wanted to ignore him,

And I wanted to curse him,

And I wanted to sink into the floor.

But then I stopped,

I breathed,

I thought about the man,

I thought about what he was feeling,

and I realized

it had nothing to do with me.

He was someone at a low ebb,

He was fragile,

So fragile that 
me 

squeezing into a seat 

next to him on the subway 

and touching him without noticing

felt like an assault

on his very being. 

I had done nothing to be sorry for,

I was right.

He was wrong.

I turned to him and I said,

"I'm sorry, it was an accident, I didn't mean to push you, I hope you can forgive me."  

I didn't need to be forgiven.

But he needed to forgive me.  

"Humph", he said, "well okay". 

And his anger was gone

And so was mine. 

It cost me nothing. 

In fact, it gave me the world. 

Blessed One-ness,

I give thanks for the gift of atonement,*

Which is mine to give so easily.

Amen.

*From Devora Steinmetz's "From Father To Son"

A Prayer for Compassion

Blessed One-ness, 

Blessed Connection, 
Kadosh Baruch Hu:
We pray for all who are in pain
And all who cause pain.

We pray for those of us
Who are so angry
That we have lost compassion for the suffering
Of anyone who is not a member of our group.
And we pray for those of us
Who cannot see the suffering
Behind the loss of that compassion.

We pray for the strength
To resist the urge to inhumanity
That we feel in times of fear and mourning.
We pray for the courage
To resist the calls to inhumanity
That others may make upon us in times of crisis.

Blessed One-ness, 

Blessed Connection,
Kadosh Baruch Hu:
May we find relief from our hurts and fears
And may we not, in our pain,
Lose our empathy
For the hurts and fears of others.
We pray for all who are in pain
And all who cause pain.
Amen