BEHOLD, WHERE ARE YOU, HERE I AM: A Rosh Hashanah Invocation

© 2015 Trisha Arlin

I.  HINEI, BEHOLD OUR DREAMS

In the Talmud, Rebbe Hannina says, 

Human versions of God’s vast intent are as unripened fruit,
Filled with potential,
Perceived completely only by God.
Hanina says that the unripened fruit of prophecy is a dream.
Which is kind of cool.
So I speculate,
The unripened fruit of truth is the story.

While we sleep our brains show us random pictures of what we had seen that day or what we can imagine, based on what our brains already knew even if we didn’t know we knew them.
And our brain imposes order on the random and constructs a story. 
Thus we gain access to the things we know but don’t know we know,
And we call that a dream.

Chalom is the Hebrew word for dream, which sounds like chalon, which is the word for window.
So a dream can be prophecy or neurology or a window to one’s soul.

And the story is how we make sense of it.

Hinei, Behold.

II.  AYEKA – WHERE ARE YOU?

The story began in the Garden of Eden

With Adam and Eve, newborn and without shame.

Until one day the snake appears and asks the first question in the entire Torah,

Casting doubt on assumed truth,

A reptile after my own heart.

Did God really say, the snake asked, to you and Adam that you were not to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge?

Huh, says Eve, and she eats that apple

And it is good.

Adam eats, too and suddenly, bam!  

Doubt and questions and fear and helplessness and despair and shame, and self-awareness. 

It is scary and they hide away.

Then God asks the first question God ever asks in the whole entire Torah,

Ayeka, God asks.  Where are you?  

They don’t answer. 

Where are you?

But poor Adam and Eve, it's before rituals, there’s no prayers, there’s no cantor singing and rabbi preaching.

Where are you?  God asks, and they haven’t a clue so they don’t say a thing.  They don’t have an  answer.

Do you? 

Ayeka. Where are you?

III.  HINENI – HERE I AM

So here today, we answer God’s question.  

Not Hinei, behold, but Hineni,  Here I am.

Hineni, said Abraham as he prepared to kill his son;

Hineni, said Moses at the burning bush as he prepared to free a people;

Hineni, sings the cantor, as she walks to the bima and prepares us for the Days of Awe.

It’s Rosh Hashanah and where are you? 

The place we stand is holy ground.

We listen for the presence of God in the cantor’s prayers and the rabbi's sermon

And the ancient rituals of the High Holydays,

Trying to hear truth amongst all the voices of our lives

Trying to interpret the noise properly so that redemption will come to us, if it should, 

And we can be part of the truth a much larger story.

Hineni.  Here I am

IV.  BEHOLD, WE DREAM TOGETHER

We dream together

And we make Teshuvah, when we return to our true selves and forgive and are forgiven;

We dream together

And we say Tefillah, when we pray and stop time in holy conversation;

We dream together 

And we do Tzedakah, when we transcend self by taking responsibility for our beautiful world. 

We dream together 

Because as Grace Paley once said, 

“Without action, hope is wasted.”

Behold Blessed One-ness, Infinite and eternal,

Here we are.

Where are you?

Amen.

A Prayer for Praying Before Blowing The Shofar

This was written as a kavanah For the Women of the Wall on Rosh Hashana 5774

From Rabbi Arthur Waskow:  'There are three notes on the shofar-  Tekiah, “Awake!”,  Teruah ,”Open your heart!”,  Shevarim, “Sob with all who suffer!”

Let us blow the shofar

So that everyone can hear:

Awake!
Open Your Heart!
Sob with all who suffer!
We pray for all who thus pray.

However you may gather

Only with your own kind,

Only with your own gender,

Only in mixed company.

After a bowl of cholent,

After a BLT,

In a minyan,

On your own.

In your holy language whatever it may be
Hebrew, Arabic, English, Yiddish, Latin, Russian, Sanskrit, Mandarin, Farsi, Spanish...
all the languages we yearn in.

At your holy sites

In a church,

In a temple,

In a shul,
In a mosque.

In a forest,
In a foxhole,
On a mountain,
At a wall.

However you may be heard
Singing,

Speaking,

Reciting,

Whispering,

Moaning,
Silently,
Blowing a shofar.

However you may hold yourself
Eyes open,
Eyes closed,

Kneeling,

Sitting,

Standing,

Shukeling,

Spinning.

For whatever reason

With your heart, wishing for the health of a loved one,

With your mouth, reciting liturgy within community,

With your body, dancing in spiritual transcendence,

With your feet, acting for a socially just world.

Because when you pray

Whether in obligation to a commandment

Or in mindful awareness of every moment,
Whether in deepest faith or faithful doubt,
When you pray you are  holy, kadosh.

And we honor you

Even if you do not honor us.

Please remember,
You speak to God

But you do not speak FOR God

So let us blow the shofar now

So that everyone can hear

That on this holy day

We pray for all who pray
Even those who would stop us from our prayer.

We pray with a loud joyful noise

So that we may be heard
Through all the walls
Because this is a holy conversation.

Awake!

Open Your Heart!

Sob with all who suffer!

Amen.

A Rosh Hashana Amidah

I open my mouth, I open my heart.

I speak praise, hope and thanks.

I speak the Ancient Prayer:

PRAISE OUR ANCESTORS

God of my childhood faith, of my adult skepticism

God of the mystics, of the philosophers

God of our ancestors, of our children

God of this community, and of mine, only

God who knew my parents, God who knows my death

Blessed Ain Sof, what WAS before IS, and WHAT WILL BE when THIS is no more.

PRAISE GOD’S POWER

God of my strength and of my weakness,

God of my current understanding and my lack thereof,

Incline your metaphorical ear

And open your metaphorical eye.

Rambam says, 

If you can’t imagine God then you don’t exist.

There is no thing that is not God.

God is no thing.

Wow.

Blessed be God, bringing us the Wow.

PLACE YOURSELF in front of the fear. 

You will be judged, you will die.

Place yourself in the center of the universe

You earned that spot simply by existing.

Place yourself under obligation to God

However you understand or don’t understand God.

Place yourself in the path of holiness and joy and truth.

Bless Ruach HaOlam, the breath of mindfulness.

REMEMBER  

Remember what you did wrong

Remember what you did right.

Remember those who came before you.

Remember that you are responsible for those who come after you.

Remember your history.

Remember Torah.

Blessed be El, remembering us.

DECLARE YOURSELF

Because the truly evil are already condemned

The truly good are already blessed

And then, there’s the rest of us.

It is said that on Rosh Hashanah God decides your fate: life or death.

And the ten days until Yom Kippur are your opportunity to change God’s mind.

So don’t blow it.

This is a powerful day, a fantastic opportunity!

Declare yourself for holiness and joy and truth.

Bless Shechina, seeing how hard we are trying.

NOW WE DECLARE

And as a congregation, we proclaim:

Let the holiness rise up!

On Rosh Hashanah it is written

On Yom Kippur it is sealed.

And let us declare together:

We understand nothing.

All that is physical, ends.

We die.

But not today.

Except sometimes, today.

We fret about the past and worry about the future

And forget to live with where we are now.

And then we die.

We understand nothing.

But  

Teshuvah, Tefilah & Tzedukah 

Restore us to our place.

Teshuvah, when we return to our true selves;

Tefillah, when we stop time in holy conversation;

Tzedukah, when we transcend self;

And that’s when God decrees.

Bless the Presence, remembering when we have forgotten.

THE DAY IS HOLY

Listen to the Shofar as it announces:

Awesome and sacred is this sweet day!

The world is filled with the Divine, we are surrounded!

Hear us, know us.

Love us, enjoy us.

Remember us, rouse us.

Forgive us, inspire us, 

Bless Elohim, the Creator, the Created, Creating. 

SANCTIFY GOD’S NAME, so many holy names:

HaMavdeel, the Divider of Time;

Adonai, the Uniter Of All Existence;

Ain Sof, That Which Cannot Be Known;

Ruach HaOlam, The Breath That Animates;

Shechina, the Presence of Eternity;

Elohim, God of our Past

Yah, God of our future;

HaMakom, The Place, God of our present.

My the holiness be eternal

Let me look from side to side, to see all these possibilities,

The names help me comprehend

That which cannot be comprehended.

Holy, Holy, Holy!

Blessed be Achat/Echad, the One-ness, with so many names.

HEAR OUR PRAYERS,

That which Was, That which Is, That which Will Be.

We imagine you. We’re listening. Do you hear us?

We are in this glorious and troubled place and we take responsibility for how it turns out.

Blessed Yah, May the World To Come be the world we live in.

WE ARE SO THANKFUL. 

Ah, the sweetness of life, savor the taste.

Life can be so good, can’t it?

And right now it is fine.

Feed it with challah and honey,

Irrigate and watch it grow.

Who cares which book we’re inscribed in?

This moment is so great.

I am so thankful for the beautiful weather, 

the glorious music, the fine words, 

the sweet meals, the warm home,

the good friends, the silly toys

the sexual pleasures, the profound thoughts,

the crazy family, the big laughs,

and the loving.

Blessed  HaMakom, giving us today, which is so beautiful.

WE PRAY FOR WHOLENESS.

Bless us with love and mercy over us and all Israel and all the world.

Bless us with transcendence from the Light That Illuminates

Bless us with pleasure in the Awesome Connection

Adonai Echad, Bless us and keep everyone safe.  Grant us peace and wholeness that we may have decent and happy lives.

RUACH HA OLAM, Eternal Breath,

Incomprehensible. And really, so simple.

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be joyful truth.

May the good things I pray for happen and, if not, 

May I never forget to hope.  AMEN

Kesher V'Gesher, A Prayer for Rosh HaShanah

We cross a scary, narrow bridge,
It has an awesome span.
From Tisha B'Av to Simchat Torah and back again.

It’s not a simple stroll across this bridge,
Revealing truth with each step.
How do we get across intact?

Tread gingerly, alone,
Exposed before our friends and family and yes, the Infinite.
But most of all, to ourselves.

We know what we have done. We do.

So what helps us across that bridge?

Our music, the poetry, the liturgy;
The wise words, the sharing, the rhythm of the rituals and conversations with God.
Tefillah.

Our gathering, these clergy and prayer leaders, this community,
Social justice and acts of loving kindness,
Tzedakah.

Our self-awareness, honesty, regret, humility, atonement,
Our forgiveness, grief, redemption and joy,
Teshuvah.

The same stuff every year but shockingly different each time.
This is Kesher, our connection to truth and hope.
This is Gesher, our bridge across these Days of Awe.

Kesher v'Gesher
Connect. Cross the bridge.
From Tisha B’Av to Simkhat Torah:

From Regret to Celebration
From Celebration to Teshuva
From Teshuva to Sweetness
From Sweetness to Atonement
From Atonement to Awe
From Awe to Abundance
From Abundance to Torah

Blessed One-ness, Breath of Everything, we are not alone on this journey.
Walk with us as we cross each bridge to a new year and yet another beginning.
Amen.

YOM KIPPUR HAVDALLAH

I.
Praise the Before
Praise the After
Praise the Time In Between

Praise Kadosh, the holy
Praise Khol, the mundane
Praise Ha Mavdil Bein Kodesh L’khol, the one who differentiates between them

Praise Kabbalah, welcome the Bride
Praise Shabbat, the deepest rest.
Praise Havdallah, farewell to the departing soul

II.
I construct four walls and a roof and no windows
I put in only one door, open it once a year, and never go in.
Inside the walls, Holy of Holies
Outside the walls, everything else.
All I did was build a temple.

I buy some fabric.
I put fringes on the corners and cover myself with the cloth.
Inside the cloth, I am “kadosh” and I can pray.
Outside the cloth, I am “khol” and I gossip.
But all I did was cover myself with a piece of fabric.

I have a rimless cap.
I put it on my head and call it a kippah.
Inside my kippa, I’m alone but in conversation with God and my kehilla.
Outside my kippa, I’m by myself
All I did was put on a cap.

I have a candle, wine, and sweet smelling spices
I light the candle and dip it in the wine, I smell the spices and call it havdallah.
Before sunset, guilt and sin and begging for forgiveness
After sundown, onto a year of new mistakes, and hope.
All I did was wait for it to get dark.

I make a flimsy hut with see-through branches for a roof and fruit within.
I call it a sukkah and sit down for a meal.
From inside the sukkah, I see three stars appear.
Outside the sukkah, I see the same three stars.
Inside outside, same thing?
All I did was build a hut.


III.

Wine, Spice, Fire

Wine
Growth, harvest, creation, sexuality, body, love.
Purged of guilt, at least until tomorrow

Spice
Sweetness, Fragrance, art, luxury, flavor, comedy.
It is good to live well if you can.

Fire
Sacrifice, spirit, usefulness, justice, inspiration
Clear thinking at last and the work begins.


IV.

Blessed Was•Is•Will Be, that which Brings the harvest,
And wine to drink, fire to light our way and spices to make us happy

Blessed HaMavdeel, that which Divides time,
And separates the whole into increments that we may comprehend it.

Blessed Adonai Echad, that which Unites all life,
And connects us all that we may be one.

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest
Amen.

The Watering

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest.

Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Feeding, nurturing
The sweetness of life
In the Moments In Between.
Between the admitting we screwed up
And the asking for forgiveness.
We stop time and savor the moment.
Life can be so good, can’t it?
And today it’s fine.

Feed it with water and honey
Irrigate and watch it grow
Then throw those sins in river.
Who cares which book we’re inscribed in?
Today is great.
Happy New Year.

God of my current understanding or lack thereof,
I am so thankful for the beautiful weather,
the glorious music,
the fine words
and the sweet meals
that I share with my friends, loved ones and community
On this wonderful day
during this New Year celebration.

Amen.