Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
An empty room.
There is a
roof on top of four walls
And a door but no windows.
We declare the inside, divine
And the
outside, mundane.
This is arbitrary
but okay with me,
I like holy
separation.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
Judgement.
God speaks
to me and tells me
Of God's
disappointment with all my mistakes.
I apologize
and promise to do better.
We both
know this is unlikely but God appreciates the sentiment.
This is
great for me,
I have
faith in the rituals.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
Hate.
I see
racism, murder, ethnic cleansing,
Misogyny,
homo- and transphobia,
Rape,
fascism, privilege,
Lies,
manipulation, collusion.
If this is
God,
I give up.
Inside the
Holy of Holies I see
Hope.
People rise
up, demanding action.
Investigators
and organizers reject cynicism and despair.
We light
candles, pray and make change.
Everyone
votes and democracy rules.
God
manifests
And I
rejoice.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
The Jewish
people.
Our stories
create me,
Our culture
animates me,
Our society
challenges me,
Our past
scars me.
I couldn't
escape them if I tried.
Could be worse.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
Myself.
Years of
therapy allow me to make
An honest evaulation
Of who and what I am.
I
criticize myself appropriately.
I honor
self-awareness,
Anything
else is boring.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
The
Infinite.
I meditate
on the Ruach Ha Olam
And each
breath is a prayer.
I feel the Presence,
I am unaware of the past and unworried about the future.
It is amazing.
I give
thanks.
Inside the
Holy of Holies, I see
The God I
need to see.
Today, God
is ancient wishful thinking.
And
tomorrow, Aveinu Malkeinu, Who will make miracles.
Next week, I
ponder the Fierce Mystery,
And the
week after, I know the One-ness that is everywhere in all things.
Whatever.
Here I am
In the Holy Of Holies.
In the Holy Of Holies.
