Friday, February 24, 2023

Join me at KALLAH!

 Join me at Kallah this July for a deep writing dive into the many uses and meanings of the Kaddish: Naming God, Praise/Mindfulness, Wholeness, Learning, Holy Separation, Mourning and Healing.

http://aleph.org/kallah/




Monday, February 20, 2023

Lucky Esther. Chapter 2 of the Megillah




Lucky Hadassah,
She won a beauty contest!
Which is nice
Every girl 
Should own at least one tiara. 
The food is good at the palace
And there’s probably other perks.  

But she has to sleep 
(That’s putting it nicely)
With that grotesque,
That drunk, that autocrat,
That screamer, that narcissist,
That wastrel, that misogynist,
That idiot who will say yes to
Whoever  
Is the last person he talked to:
Kill the Jews
Don’t kill the Jews 
Whatever. 

That’s jumping ahead in our story, 
We’re still in Chapter 2,
The one where Hadassah is
Kidnapped  
Trafficked
Objectified
Groomed
Raped. 
The one in which she
Loses her true name
And is used by Cousin Mordecai
To make his.

Lucky Esther,
She won a beauty contest. 



Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Getting Old

 


Getting old
Is the slow loss of shame,
Especially if you’ve spent your life
Being watched

And judged
And found wanting. 
I wasn’t fat
But I wasn’t skinny. 

So I thought I was huge. 
My entire life was organized around my big ass. 
I dressed in loose clothes,
I didn’t go swimming. 

Young men on the street 
Commented 
On the size of my ass
All the time. 

It never occurred to me 
That they liked my ass. 
It never occurred to me 
That my ass was none of their business. 

When I quit smoking 
I gained more weight. 
I’m told I was voluptuous,
I knew I was fat. 

When I hit my forties
The comments stopped. 
I could be on fire
And no man would see me. 

I missed them
For a while. 
It meant I was too old
To be sexy. 

But in my fifties
I slowly realized I was free!
If no one was looking
Then I could just be me. 

And me said,
No more dieting. 
And then me said,
If you don’t like it don’t look. 

And then me said,
No more hiding. 
And then me said,
No more apologies.  

My hair went gray
And I figured out that
If I used the right tone of voice,
Young men would do my bidding. 

I’m not a grandma. 
I’m not a mommy or an auntie. 
I don’t need them to love me. 
I need them to give me a seat on the subway.  

Except for the poverty
And the wrinkles 
And the impending decrepitude,
Getting old is lovely. 





Thursday, February 2, 2023

Listen In Shul






Listen in shul 

To the siddur pages turning; 

To the children squirming; 

To feet stepping back and forward three times; 

To those checking their phones; 

To the familiar tune; 

To the memories of our dead; 

To our worries for the future; 

To the questions and the doubt: 

To our yearning for a nap; 

To the schmoozers in the back row; 

To the silent prayers; 

To us; 

To Shabbat. 


Amen