Ladies, get me some water.
What happened? I’ll tell you.
He summoned me,
That old demented bully,
He wants to show me off naked to his cronies!
Absurd.
I didn’t think
I just answered.
I said to the messenger,
Tell him, Vashti says No.
Back comes the messenger, just a kid,
Poor thing, I feel for him because
When the disgusting idiot, my husband
Heard of my refusal,
He exploded.
So, it’s official: Queen Vashti is
Divorced and banished:
Make room for the next one!
Hmph! Do I care?
Tell him, Vashti says No.
Now what? What do I do?
So boring.
If not magnificent, what will I be?
Merely a princess of Babylon,
Kidnapped as a girl by Darius of Persia,
Trafficked to his idiot son to marry?
So from now on I will
Only be merely fabulous me?
So interesting.
Tell him, Vashti says No.
The kid comes back with a black eye,
And a message from my brand new ex:
Beloved Wife! I’m in such a good mood!
Put on your crown and parade your beautiful body!
Beg for forgiveness and we will party
In my giant new gold ballroom
With all my billionaire friends!
I give the poor boy an aspirin.
Remember to duck, I say,
When you tell the king, Vashti says No.
Maybe I’ll cut off my long black hair,
Maybe I’ll burn all my beautiful clothes.
Maybe I’ll stop wearing make up.
Maybe I’ll get fat. Hah!
Show this off, Buster.
You know, I’ve got a lovely palace in the country,
I think I”ll plant tomatoes.
Maybe I’ll take a lover
And then make a documentary
Titled, “Vashti Says No”.
The boy is back, I think his arm is broken.
He shakes and cries as he tells me,
The old man wants my crown,
For the succeeding wife-to-be.
My crown?! The boy trembles. I laugh.
This ugly vulgar thing?
The creep does love his shiny garish crap.
Take it! Better her than me!
Curse Vashti when you hand it to him,
That might save your life
As Vashti says No.
Here’s some sisterly good advice for the next one:
Let him pretend to be a genius!
Give him gold prizes, doesn’t matter what for,
He loves his fake awards.
Do what you got to do
But get him drunk first, it goes faster.
Oh and watch out for that creepy bald toad, Haman,
He really hates immigrants.
Say yes if you must but please, honey,
Tell him, Vashti says No.
