Purim Havdallah

(delivered after regular Havdallah, to start Purim, with much kibitzing from everyone)

What’s all this holy Havdallah? Too serious! We need a Purim Havdallah!!

I. Praise
Praise Shabbat when I slept late
Praise Purim, let us get upside down
Praise the Before when we are healthy,
Praise the After, the Holy Hangover
Praise Havdallah, Is Shabbat over? Can I check my email?
Praise the…I’m sorry, what was I saying?
Oh yeah,
It’s party time!

II. Wine, Spice, Fire
Wine – (pull out bottle of Scotch) Yay!! Have a drink, have two!!! It’s Purim!
Spice – (pull out large deoderant, refresh on self) Hey baby, lookin’ good with your funky self. Love that outfit! Smell ya later. You, too.
Fire - (pull out joke candle) Hey you, light my fire!!! (sing davenning) Come on baby light my fire, Come on baby light my fire!!

III. Blessing
Blessed Echad, that which Unites, and connects us that we may pay dues to the congregation.
Blessed Ruach HaOlam, That Which We will never understand and really, who cares?!!!
Blessed HaMavdil, that which divides, so that we can be what we are NOT!

And let us say:
(reverently) (H)amen.

PURIM!!!!!!!!