All Our Grudges: An Alternative Kol Nidrei

All grudges, resentments, and vows of vengence and bitterness, 

All undying hatreds or annoyances that we may hold onto

Or talk endlessly about, boring our friends,

Or lose sleep obsessing over

Or write bad poetry about

Or bring up at family dinners to the consternation of all present;

From the previous Day of Atonement until this Day of Atonement

For the benefit of our mental health

And the peace of mind of all who surround us;

Regarding all of this that we have refused to let go,

Despite the fact that they are long past

Or pointless

Or one-sided

Or ridiculous

Or destructive of the innocent

Or hurting ourselves more than anyone else;

Regarding all of them, these intrusions on the Holy Wholeness,
we repudiate them.

All of them, we let them go,

Give up

Wave away

Acknowledge as stupid

Declare null and void
Because we are done.

Our grudges are no longer our grudges,

Our silent resentments are no longer silent,

Our eternal vows of vengence are no more.

The entire community acknowledges and takes action

So that everyone we have been angry at is forgiven,

Every hurt we did not speak about will be dealt with,

Every relative will be loved for who they are rather than who they are not,

Every change in the world that needs to be made will be made rather than contemplated.

Holy Wholeness!

We need help to step back into connection with the One.

We look for the compassion and mercy

That is always there

If we but pay attention.

Yes, there it is.
We are forgiven?

Blessed be the One-ness, 

Creator, Created, Creating.

Amen

Art by Mike Cockrill

Torah Covers That Go Wow: Changing the Torah Covers on Erev Rosh Hashanah

On Rosh Hashanah

It's time,

Among much else,

To change the covers on our Torahs from the everyday colors to white.

I google

Torah covers,

Hoping for some Jewish knowledge to inspire deep thoughts

And at the top of the list there is an ad,

An ad for a company that makes custom torah covers.

The headline for the ad reads,

Torah Covers That Go Wow!

Torah covers that go, "wow!"?

I'm impressed

And I start thinking about the other talking Torah covers I have known

And what they might have to say

Besides wow.

For instance, I once knew a Torah cover that said, Because You Are a Girl You're Not Allowed To Touch Me.

So I touched.  

I knew a Torah cover that said, Pick me up and Dance With Me!

I met that Torah cover at my first Simchat Torah.

And we danced.

I knew a Torah cover that said Take Me Off And Look Inside!

So I did and it was not boring.

I knew a Torah cover that said, Don't Worship Me, I'm Just A Book.

 I agreed, and then I kissed it with my tallit.

I knew a Torah cover that said, Doubt Is An Act Of Faith!

And so I asked questions, and then asked some more.

And these High Holyday white Torah covers, what do they say?

These cry out, Remember Me.

And I think of the loved one of blessed memory, who gave these covers to us.

I still miss her, and remember.

Last year the Torah covers spoke and said,

“Every small stain on white is visible, every blemish is there for the world to see”*

So that we may know ourselves, seek forgiveness and change.

And everywhere there is Rosh Hashana, what else do all the white covers say? 

They sing the song of the Shofar, the three notes,

According to Rabbi Arthur Waskow,

Tekiah, “Awake!”,  

Teruah ,”Open your heart!”,  

Shevarim, “Sob with all who suffer!”

All these noisy covers, going: Help Me, Touch Me, Go Away, Learn and Study, Ask and Listen, Worship, Fear, Dance, Forgive and Be Forgiven, Remember, Awaken, Open Up, Empathize, Resist...

All these voices

Kolot Torah, the voices of our torah covers,

Kolot Shofar,  the voices of the Shofar,

Kolot Chayeinu, the voices of our lives

As we join together

And go,

Wow.

Shana Tova

*Tabitha St. Bernard and Adam Jaffe, Changing The Torah Covers    http://kolotchayeinu.org/TorahCovers