A Blessing For Buster on Rosh Hodesh Elul

This is a blessing for my old orange cat, Buster,

On the occasion of Rosh Hodesh Elul, 

Rosh Hashanah La Beheimot,

The New Year of the Domesticated Beasts.

  

Buster was an athlete in his youth. 

He’s named for Buster Keaton because

He was always leaping and levitating

And doing triple axels on the ceiling

And he never smiled.

 

Buster was also kind of a jerk. 

Standoffish and emotionally withholding,

He ruined two sets of venetian blinds and

Every screen in every window.

He broke all my small breakables

And

Sometimes I would catch him

Staring at his brother,

Sweet fuzzy cuddly Sammy,

With this look in his eyes

That said,

“I have no choice, I must bite Sammy on his ass.”

And then he would.

Intervention only delayed the inevitable.

 

Have you heard of family systems theory?

When Sammy died, Buster took his place:

He got cuddly and loving and slept on my face.

 

And now Buster is very old, 

He’s 22!

He misses the litter box more often than not.

He howls very loudly when he’s hungry

And howls very loudly after he has eaten.

He falls over when he sneezes!

Sometimes Buster walks down the hallway and then stops halfway

And you can see him thinking,

What was I doing?

Sometimes he remembers and continues on,

Sometimes he doesn’t and goes back to bed.

Man, I can so so so relate to this.

 

Buster is an inside apartment cat, 

My captive all his life.

He never got to serenade the neighborhood,

He never got to have sex,

He never got to fight for territory,

He never got to crouch in the tall grass stalking his prey.

Buster only murdered three mice, that I know of,

When the neighbors moved,

And it’s a shame because he was born to kill.

How do I dare to offer him a blessing 

When I have been at best a benevolent tyrant

Thwarting his every natural desire?

 

For fifteen months during COVID

Buster was the only living being

I could touch.  

Bless you, Buster. 

I love you. 

I’m sorry. 

Thank you, 

My old domesticated beast.

Please don’t die and

Happy New Year.

Amen.