THE FOUNDATION OF FORGIVENESS (For Selichot)

Art by Carolyn Hall

In the divine and great love of One-ness

That is the foundation of forgiveness,

It is really good

To be part of a community of people

Who want to be kind to each other. 

Sometimes that’s more aspirational for us than achieved,

But here, secure in acceptance and compassion,

We know

We are where we can keep trying,

Where kindness

And apologies

And forgiveness

And safety

Come our way when needed

And even when not. 

In the divine and great love of One-ness

It is good to remember. 

Amen

Forgive You?

Art by Carolyn Hall

You say to me, 

"If I have hurt you in any way this past year, I apologize and hope that you can pardon me, forgive me, let me atone for my sins against you."

If?  If you have hurt me?

Of course you have hurt me!  
Remember that time in the car, in the living room, on the road, in the back yard, on the stoop?

In that email, on the phone, to my parents, with my friends, next to my spouse, in front of my kids, when we were alone?

Overtly, covertly, passive-aggressively, inadvertantly, officially, slowly, abruptly, shockingly, repeatedly, mistakenly, knowingly?

Oh my God yes, you have hurt me!

"I know," you say, "I know.

Pardon me, forgive me, let me atone for my sins against you."

Forgive you?  Should I forgive you? when should I forgive you?

Immediately, before you even know what you did?

Now, as soon as you ask for forgiveness?

Eventually, but only after making you feel bad for years?

What about never?

How should I forgive you?

Miraculously, without you having to ask?

Simply, by just saying, apology accepted?

Grudgingly, and only after you've groveled for a really long time?

Or what about, not at all?

Why should I forgive you?

Because you are really truly sorry and you will never do it again?

Becasue it cleanses us both and helps me move on?

Because it's Elul and the Rabbi says I have to?

Because nothing, screw this, you're evil and I hate you.

"Yes," you say,  "you're right.

All true.

Pardon me, forgive me, let me atone for my sins against you."

Forgive you?
I imagine saying, No.
Forgive you?

I imagine saying, Maybe.
Forgive you?

I imagine saying, Yes.

Amen.

Selichot Prayer

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest.

And now, we begin.
Plant the Seeds
Begin the search.
For Selichot, Forgiveness

Dear God
Incline your metaphorical ear
Open your metaphorical eye
To our Abundant Folly
Iniquity and sin against wholeness.
Notice our pain!
We’re on our knees,
Asking for blessings, bracha,
Bending, pleading for kindness.

The truly evil are already condemned
The truly good are already blessed
And the rest of us, most of us,
Can only hope for mercy
And a little leeway.

We are ready to start the search for teshuvah
Returning every year
To plant the seeds of forgiveness
Of self and others.

Be with us in our struggle
As we pray for compassion and kindness
for all who are in pain
or who have caused pain.

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest.