Yishtabach: Praise

Praise the morning blessings of the Birchat HaShachar,

Praise the songs of the Pzeuki Zimra,

Praise  the Names of the Hatzi Kadish,

Praise the Infinite Eternal of the Barchu,

Praise the light and the darkness of the Yotzer.

And between and within them, Yishtabach.  Praise

Praise the sounds of praising

And praise the ones who praise.

Praise that which is being praised.

Praise the praise.

Yishtabach

What is this?

What am I doing?

Does God need praise or do I need to praise God?

What does that even mean?  

Yishtabach

What kind of ominpotent God needs praise?

I don't believe in such a frivolous God 

I don't believe in anything that needs to b e worshipped

What an insecure God to need such flattery.

Nevertheless, Yishtabach

Is it a pathetic petition to a King?

Is it placation of the jealous Torah God?

Is it worship of a tribal god? 

I hate kings and autocrats and tribes.

So really, Yishtabach?

Is it the praise or my saying of it that makes it holy? 
Does it change me for the better?

Does it make a difference to anyone at all?

Or is it empty dead ritual?

I feel a little ridiculous.

And still I say it, Yishtabach.

Yishtabach Shimkha la'ad malkeinu
These are not my words, but they belong to me.

Yishtabach Shimkha la'ad malkeinu
Praise that which is bigger than us.
Yishtabach Shimkha la'ad malkeinu
Praise the need to praise.

Amen

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Trisha

Sukkot: A Prayer for Spreading Joy

Blessed One-ness
Sharing Sukkot, the Harvest,

 Z'man simkhateinu - the season of our joy


We harvest our teshuvah,

And gather in the joy of redemption.
Citron, Palm, Willow, Myrtle
Etrog, Lulav, Aravah, Hadass
Heart, Spine, Mouth, Eye

We spread our joy
In all six directions
Left, right, forward and back

Shma, yisrael, Adonai, Elohainu
Up and Down,

Adonai Echad.

The stars are above us,
The earth below.
The past behind us,
The future ahead of us.
Family to our left,

Friends to our right.

We are everywhere

And we are here.

We enjoy the harvest

Of our fields and our prayers.
We are home.
No matter how long it lasts
We have it now.

We are one in the One
And we give thanks.

Amen.

YOM KIPPUR HAVDALLAH

I.
Praise the Before
Praise the After
Praise the Time In Between

Praise Kadosh, the holy
Praise Khol, the mundane
Praise Ha Mavdil Bein Kodesh L’khol, the one who differentiates between them

Praise Kabbalah, welcome the Bride
Praise Shabbat, the deepest rest.
Praise Havdallah, farewell to the departing soul

II.
I construct four walls and a roof and no windows
I put in only one door, open it once a year, and never go in.
Inside the walls, Holy of Holies
Outside the walls, everything else.
All I did was build a temple.

I buy some fabric.
I put fringes on the corners and cover myself with the cloth.
Inside the cloth, I am “kadosh” and I can pray.
Outside the cloth, I am “khol” and I gossip.
But all I did was cover myself with a piece of fabric.

I have a rimless cap.
I put it on my head and call it a kippah.
Inside my kippa, I’m alone but in conversation with God and my kehilla.
Outside my kippa, I’m by myself
All I did was put on a cap.

I have a candle, wine, and sweet smelling spices
I light the candle and dip it in the wine, I smell the spices and call it havdallah.
Before sunset, guilt and sin and begging for forgiveness
After sundown, onto a year of new mistakes, and hope.
All I did was wait for it to get dark.

I make a flimsy hut with see-through branches for a roof and fruit within.
I call it a sukkah and sit down for a meal.
From inside the sukkah, I see three stars appear.
Outside the sukkah, I see the same three stars.
Inside outside, same thing?
All I did was build a hut.


III.

Wine, Spice, Fire

Wine
Growth, harvest, creation, sexuality, body, love.
Purged of guilt, at least until tomorrow

Spice
Sweetness, Fragrance, art, luxury, flavor, comedy.
It is good to live well if you can.

Fire
Sacrifice, spirit, usefulness, justice, inspiration
Clear thinking at last and the work begins.


IV.

Blessed Was•Is•Will Be, that which Brings the harvest,
And wine to drink, fire to light our way and spices to make us happy

Blessed HaMavdeel, that which Divides time,
And separates the whole into increments that we may comprehend it.

Blessed Adonai Echad, that which Unites all life,
And connects us all that we may be one.

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest
Amen.

The Watering

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest.

Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Feeding, nurturing
The sweetness of life
In the Moments In Between.
Between the admitting we screwed up
And the asking for forgiveness.
We stop time and savor the moment.
Life can be so good, can’t it?
And today it’s fine.

Feed it with water and honey
Irrigate and watch it grow
Then throw those sins in river.
Who cares which book we’re inscribed in?
Today is great.
Happy New Year.

God of my current understanding or lack thereof,
I am so thankful for the beautiful weather,
the glorious music,
the fine words
and the sweet meals
that I share with my friends, loved ones and community
On this wonderful day
during this New Year celebration.

Amen.

A List, Of My Sins, For Yom Kippur

Praise Elul, the plowing
Praise Selichot, the planting
Praise Rosh Hashannah, the watering,
Praise Yom Kippur, the weeding
Praise Sukkot, the Harvest.


Aveinu Yah
Emotainu Yah
God of our ancestors
God of my childhood
God of the mystics
God of the philosophers
God of this community

Tonight I ask to be released from all my vows of perfection.
They were impossible.
I have made bad choices.
I caused pain
I was selfish
I talked behind people’s backs
I lost perspective
I wasted time
I whined and moped
I said mean things and thought I was funny
I went into debt.
I boasted
I was insincere
I did not take care of myself
I was too angry
I wasn’t angry enough
I projected my neuroses onto others
I used my abilities to intimidate
I didn’t use my abilities enough.
I did not sow or reap or harvest
I did not create.
I didn’t give money when it would have helped.
I didn’t give my time when it would have made a difference.
I lied.
I didn’t see others pain because I was too busy with my own
I was unsupportive to my friends.
I took my grief out on others.
I showed off.
I was foolish.
I was lazy
I was sloppy
I wallowed in self-pity.
I grumbled.
I was sarcastic.
I started every sentence with the word, “I”.
I did things that hurt other people.
Sometimes I couldn’t help myself, or so I like to think.
Sometimes I could help myself, and I knew it, and I didn’t.
I feared death and pretended I didn’t.
I thought I could control life and despaired when I could not.

Aveinu Yah, Emotainu Yah, God of my fathers and mothers, God of my current understanding or lack thereof, awesome and incomprehensible, for all these sins and many more, I promise to try for better from myself and others, and I pray for compassion and kindness for all who are in pain or who cause pain. Amen.