Heal Me

The One Who Blessed Our Ancestors, Ruach HaOlam, Breath of the Universe, 

heal me…

 

I need a Healing Prayer.

But I can't do it.

I don't have the soothing words.

I'm in pain

Right now

And it's been going on for a while

And it looks like it's going to last longer than it takes to say any prayer.

So instead

I offer to you

A Pain Prayer:

A friend died suddenly

And I miss her.

I’m afraid since the election 

And my despair is showing.

I don't have a partner

And I'm lonely. 

Climate change is destroying my home

And I will never be comfortable again. 

My body hurts

And I'm becoming my pain.

Did I name any of your sorrows?

Do you want to name them now?

What was solid is porous,

What was secure is scary,

And everyone wants to hurry me through my grief.

It will be so much better, they say, when this is over:

You will be transformed!

Yes, I say, but into what?

Yes, I say, but I’m not there now!

Yes, I say, but please, let me mourn first.

“Refa’aynu Adonai V’Nayrafay

Heal us God, and we shall be healed.”

Can this be true?

“Elohai neshama sh’natata’bi,

The soul placed within me is pure and cannot be lost.”

o where is that pure soul?

Where is that healing of the body, mind and spirit?

Is it in the music?

Is it in my friends?

Is it in prayer?

So I listen to the music

And I am transported away from the hurt.

I look around at my community

And I am taken care of.

I recite this prayer

And I speak to God.

I guess this is a healing prayer after all.

Baruch Atah Adonai, The One Who Blessed Our Ancestors, Ruach HaOlam, Breath of the Universe,

Healer, Healing, Healed.

Amen

Avodah

You are your own Kohen Gadol.
Now is the time for your own private confession and blessing in your own private Holy of Holies.  

You buy some fabric.
You put fringes on the corners and cover yourself with the cloth.
Inside the cloth, you pray. Outside the cloth, you gossip.
But all you did was cover yourself.

Breathe in, Yud.
Breath out, Hey.
Breathe In, Vuv.
Breathe Out, Hey.

You are now in your own Holy of Holies, alone with God, however or whatever you imagine God to be. 

Have your own holy conversation, 
Confess in this private holy space, 
All the things you know you did that you knew to be wrong,
All the mistakes, the accidents, the omissions, the commissions…

Take this time with yourself to know yourself.

Make your own blessing, first for yourself, then for your family, then for your community….

If you are with your family, hug or hold hands, and if you wish, share your blessing.

On this holy day

We pray with all who pray with honesty

And true regret

And that

Teshuvah, Tefilah & Tzedukah 

Restore us to our place.

Teshuvah, when we return to our true selves;

Tefillah, when we stop time in holy conversation;

Tzedukah, when we transcend self;

And that’s when God decrees.

Bless the Presence, remembering when we have forgotten, forgiving when we are lost.

We rise.

We stand in the courtyard of the temple

We humble ourselves before the Un-nameable and the Indescribable

As real as the Ain Sof

As real as what we had for breakfast.

We bow down.

We prostrate ourselves before the awesomeness

Of the Love

And the Forgiveness.

Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuto L’olam VaEd!

Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuto L’olam VaEd!

Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuto L’olam VaEd!

We rise.

Blessed is the Holy Wholeness

Breathing Existence.

Breathe in, Yud
Breathe out, Hey
Breathe In, Vuv
Breathe Out, Hey.

 Amen

I Am In Exile: A Prayer for Kol Nidre

I am in exile

From the source

Of my true self.

I look and I can't find me.

I want to go back

I don't know how to get there.

They tell me:

Teshuva is the answer!

Return to friends, community, One-ness!

But I am lost,

I don't know the path.

I am in exile

From my Partner

In holy conversation.

I talk but I am not heard.

I want to speak

But I don't know what to say.

They tell me:

Tefillah is the answer!

Pray with friends, community, One-ness!

But I am lost,

I don't know the ritual.

I am in exile

From the unfair pain 

Suffered by so many others.

I can only feel my own needs.

I want to help

But I don't know what to do.

They tell me:

Tzedukah is the answer!

Serve your friends, community, One-ness!

But I am lost,

I don't know the next step.

Every Yom Kippur I am told:

Teshuvah, Tefilah & Tzedukah 

Restore us to our place.

Teshuvah, when we return to our true selves;

Tefillah, when we stop time in holy conversation;

Tzedukah, when we transcend self.

I hope that that is true.

Blessed One-ness, I am looking for guidance.

Where do I walk?

What do I say?

What do I do?

I am not sure I believe the answers.

Should I trust the ones who counsel me?

Shema, they say,

Listen:
You are forgiven,
You are loved.

Blessed Holy Wholeness, 

suggesting a home.
I hope that I am forgiven,
I hope that I am loved.

Amen.

A Prayer for Compassion

Blessed One-ness, 

Blessed Connection, 
Kadosh Baruch Hu:
We pray for all who are in pain
And all who cause pain.

We pray for those of us
Who are so angry
That we have lost compassion for the suffering
Of anyone who is not a member of our group.
And we pray for those of us
Who cannot see the suffering
Behind the loss of that compassion.

We pray for the strength
To resist the urge to inhumanity
That we feel in times of fear and mourning.
We pray for the courage
To resist the calls to inhumanity
That others may make upon us in times of crisis.

Blessed One-ness, 

Blessed Connection,
Kadosh Baruch Hu:
May we find relief from our hurts and fears
And may we not, in our pain,
Lose our empathy
For the hurts and fears of others.
We pray for all who are in pain
And all who cause pain.
Amen